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Over the years, I've heard many people voice their
concerns of death and dying. It wasn't that they had any maladies that would
cause them to die any time soon, but they were "afraid of their own
immortality." The basic idea of death, or the potential of death, created a
mind-numbing fear that, in some cases, forced them into isolation to avoid
anything that could increase their chances of dying. Although this might
sound like a gruesome topic, it is important, as one of the most common
situations associated with a fear of dying is actually a "fear of living."
One fears death because they've not learned how to live. They are afraid
that there won't be enough time to live a full life and in the process waste
the time worrying about not living. Believe it or not, this is more common
than you might think. One of the other, underlying, reasons for fear of
death is the ingrained parental voices of society and religion that, indeed,
we will perish in the afterlife. One needs to evaluate the realities of
their spiritualism to ensure that those beliefs provide comfort and support
throughout life. However, why must one examine spiritualism externally since
we are our own gods and our own spiritual essence? >From some of the
situations I've noticed in my work and studies, many of my clients, and
others, have a distinct belief in something outside that creates their
essence --- or on which their essence is based. By believing and honoring
this "thing", "being", "organization", etc., they feel as though they are
part of something greater. It also provides them with "softer answers" to
the "larger questions" --- otherwise known as faith. Indeed, there are no
soft answers and it is in those realities that we can grow and eliminate
fear. Of course, I can't blame these individuals for feeling and believing
the way they do as their ideas have been handed down over the generations by
society and religion. If these ideas were to be ripped from them, it would
throw them into a whirlwind of confusion and instill hatred that they were
misled all these years. It is seen by society that control is easier to
maintain on fearful "lost sheep", or "cattle", that have faith in a supreme
being --- "authority". If people believe in themselves and their own
internal gods and spiritualism, then they no longer belong to a group and
can no longer be swayed to the will of those in power. In fact, by allowing
people to believe, and teaching such beliefs, in their inner gods and
spiritualism, they do indeed belong to a group --- a much larger group
consisting of everyone and everything --- this instead of segregating groups
by concocted, shaky, and fear-inducing beliefs. Could this be the answer to
many of today's problems? Instead of pointing to a multitude of greater
beings and dictating what these beings tell each group of believers simply
to create a rift at the political and religious levels, perhaps by believing
in oneself as the creator and understanding that we are all creators that
the turmoil might decrease or desist. Of course, that would eliminate the
separations of political and belief-based organizations. Of course, this
could also eliminate the desire to move forward in life as the idea of
competition on many levels would change. Instead of working to win, become
rich, and attain power, we would work for the betterment in ourselves, of
ourselves, for each other, and to increase our own internal power. The idea
of using external influences and deities is primarily based on one's belief
system and as such is necessary for many to establish a spiritual side. As
noted, it is easier to offload one's own responsibilities and destiny on to
a faith-based entity than to accept that we choose and define our own
destinies. But, to resolve, it is essential to replace that belief with a
sense of reality; however, that is a slow and laborious process that will
take centuries to unravel as it took centuries to instill. In the long run,
your internal beliefs and desires are the only things that can provide you
with a life of wonder and excitement that overshadows the inevitability of
death. As they say, the two things you can count on are "death and taxes."
So, such circumstances are inevitable and cannot be avoided. Therefore, they
should not be planned into your life! Taxes will happen every year on April
15th and death will occur when it occurs. But, sitting and waiting in the
interim for the "inevitable" won't make it go away, nor will it make it
easier to manage. Life is the only thing that you have control over, so your
only options are, sit quietly and die inside until your physical death
catches up to you. Or, you can live life to its fullest and not worry about
what will happen in 40 or 50 years. Just worry about how well you can live
right now and create something solid for the "memory banks."
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--- About the Author
--- Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki
Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among
other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging
from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out
some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles
covering various life-changing topics! For more information, e-mail Edward
at etoupin@toupin.com or visit his
site at
http://www.make-life-great.com or
http://www.toupin.com! Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin
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