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Level’s of Maturity
As humans we all display various levels of maturity in our behavior.
Generally we would expect that people behave according to the levels of
maturity of their years. In other words, a forty year old would act like
a forty year old and a twelve year old like a twelve year old, and so
on. However, we all know that this is not the case. Many adults never
develop beyond a childhood level of functioning and some teenagers’
function at the adult level early on.
I would like to make it real clear, at this point, that I am not
referring, in this article, to those that are mentally challenged in
some way, and thus are not capable of emotional or mental maturity due
to a physiological problem. I’m referring to those who never develop
beyond a childhood level of functioning because they choose not to, or
don’t realize what level they are functioning at because of poor
parental example as they were maturing. In other words they are
genuinely ignorant of the level of maturity they are functioning at and
need to be taught.
As I see it, there are seven levels of maturity. They are, Infant,
Toddler, Child, Adolescent, Adult, Master, and Angelic or God-like. I
feel that man, in his imperfect state, can with some effort attain to
the Master level of maturity.
One can be a fully-grown person and not be mature, or they can be a
person young in years, but be very mature emotionally and mentally. As
we grow from infant to adult we have more and more experiences and
develop a greater capacity to digest and understand the events that life
has to offer. As we mature, we become more flexible. We have a greater
capacity to find peaceful solutions to our differences with others. We
become more independent, ultimately achieving interdependence. With
greater maturity comes more kindness, compassion, and respect toward
others, along with self-confidence and clarity of purpose.
There is a book titled Transforming Your Dragons by Jose Stevens that
describes the various stages of maturity and how an adult would act if
they were fixated at the younger stages. While I don’t agree with
everything in Dr. Stevens book, most of it I feel is fairly accurate.
I am going to describe the Adult and Master in this article. Please take
the time to think deeply on these qualities and be honest with yourself
as you consider how fully they are expressed in you life. If you see a
quality that describes you, then commend yourself. If you see an area
where you need to mature, then set that as a goal to work toward. Keep
in mind because of time and space, I am going to be brief and somewhat
general.
People that have reached the Adult level of maturity emphasize
"being" over "doing". Quality rather than quantity.
Their view of life is to emphasize the good rather than the negative,
they don’t get too disappointed if things don’t go their way, they
just re-evaluate to see what they need to do differently. They realize
that there is always something to learn from every situation. They know
that failure doesn’t mean defeat, and success isn’t always
permanent. Instead of resisting life and what it has dealt, they find a
way to adapt to it and take the suffering out. They live by the
principle that they cannot harm others without somehow harming
themselves in the process.
Adults have also learned how to learn, and therefore how to solve
problems quickly. They are highly capable people who have experience and
wisdom and do not get caught up in petty obstacles if they can at all
help it. They are honest with themselves and others. They have healthy
boundaries. They know when and how to say "No" when it’s in
everyone’s best interest. They believe in the spirit of the law rather
than the letter of it.
They have succeeded in balancing their thoughts with their emotions and
actions. Therefore, their approach is usually appropriate to a given
situation. They are stable. Instead of complaining, they quietly take
action that will solve the problem. Rather than blame others when things
go wrong, they accept responsibility and seek to correct the problems.
They have the capacity to forgive themselves and others. They may be
very intelligent, but they speak in simple terms that are easy to
understand. They have respect for all living things, and the resources
of the planet.
Adults can have their own problems, but are not afraid to ask for help
when they feel they need it. They are aware that no person is an island
and that successful living means cooperation with other human beings.
While pursuing personal growth, they will contribute to the welfare of
others by modeling adult behavior. Adults teach by example. They are
real, genuine.
Adults may be rich or poor, famous or obscure, and socially powerful or
quiet. They can be found in all walks of life and in every race. They
move in and out of all social classes without necessarily identifying
with any one class in particular. They are as at home with the poor as
with the rich, regardless of their economic status.
Some people never become adults and some people do so at a very young
age. The same is true of achieving the Master level of maturity. Masters
are quietly powerful and effective and have the ability to communicate
with anyone. They have a unique calming effect on others and their
presence can disarm tense situations. They have natural authority and
people listen to them with respect. They can move mountains if necessary
to accomplish their goals. Their goals are altruistic.
Masters maintain a balance of emotions, rationality, and action. They
display wisdom and are only interested in the truth. They focus on the
greater good of humankind. While they know themselves well, they are not
focused on themselves. They are kind but firm. Serene and tranquil.
While not perfect, they have mastered their negative personality traits
so they no longer are controlled them. They are motivated by love and
compassion rather than money, fame, or power. While having righteous
indignation, they neither judge nor condemn. They have a genuine love
for people in all walks of life, and leave judging up to a Higher Power.
From my current perspective there is not a huge difference between Adult
and Master levels of maturity, I guess we could say that the qualities
of the Adult just become more refined in the Master. Perhaps too, being
a Master means that we have mastered being human. Not just realizing
that we have limitations, but accepting them and becoming humble within
them. I’m not talking about self-imposed limitations that with
maturity can be overcome, but rather, limitations divinely given such as
our inability to read the hearts of others, or to control the lives of
others. A Master would do what they could to heal the pain of suffering
humanity be it physical, emotional or spiritual while recognizing their
limitations. Masters not only recognizes, but also submits to a Higher
Source.
Can we achieve adulthood as imperfect humans? Of course. Can we achieve
the level of what I call Master? Yes, I think we can, although it may
take us a lifetime to achieve that goal. But it is one that is certainly
worth striving for. And if we haven’t already begun, then now would be
a good time to start.
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