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Dear Del,
I have heard that children do very well with hypnosis. I
hope this is true, because I have a child who really
needs your help. He has a terrible time in school,
doesn't want to go, doesn't do his homework, gets
terribly angry with us…you name it! Can he be
helped?
This is a letter that came to me out of a parent's deep
concern for her child. She had run out of methods of
dealing with him, and in desperation was looking for
someone or some thing that could provide a solution to
his problems. Encouragement from teachers had not worked,
and counselors had been unable to affect change.
Childhood is a time of great discovery and of learning.
But that discovery and learning can also be very
stressful for children. Adults can sometimes forget this.
While adults are taking care of major events, they can
lose sight of the impact of those events upon their
children, until a problem arises.
Children grapple with change, loss, self-esteem, and
their own bodies as they move through rapid growth
periods over short periods of time. They must deal with
making new friends, handling bullies, unfamiliar
schoolwork, and struggles to "belong".
Sometimes the comparison to others can make feelings of
inferiority or even depression rise to the surface.
Children, like adults, show their response to stress,
change, grief and loss in many different ways. Schoolwork
may begin to slide. The child may lose things, or steal
them. He may become accident-prone or have headaches or
stomachaches. She might bite her nails or pull her hair.
Bedwetting may become a problem. Particular health
problems like asthma and hay fever may be exacerbated.
Stuttering may become more prominent.
A child can be bored with school, having trouble with
playmates or teachers, be extra shy or worried about
being called upon in class, be unable to comprehend a
subject, or have to deal other incidences that cause him
to have difficulties with his education.
There may be other problems that children develop. A
child might have unreasonable fears that seem to have no
basis: fear of the dark, fear about going to sleep, fear
of needles, doctors or dentists; fear of animals or
insects; fear of traveling; fear of people, etc. All the
encouragement in the world doesn't seem to change the
fear.
Children may have many reasons for doing unsociable
things, for learning problems, or for fears, just as we
adults do. The difference is that they have had less
years of reinforcement of whatever imprints are causing
their actions. Therefore, the use of hypnosis-which works
with the imagination--can be highly effective in changing
these responses, provided the issue is not seated in the
parents or other persons who are closely related to the
child's development.
In most instances, the imagination of children is still
very keen. It is only with the interference of well-meaning
adults that imagination soon gives way to believing only
what one can see and touch. How many adults have
associated a child's imagination with "lying"?
How many times has an imaginative child been told to
"quit daydreaming."? Later on, it's "get
real!"
Imagination is the doorway between the conscious mind and
the unconscious levels of the mind. Therefore, it is
relatively easy to reach the deeper levels in the mind of
a child. Children respond well to stories, visualization,
imaginative games and other simple tools.
Children are great discoverers. Given the opportunity,
they are hungry and open to new learning. They enjoy
responding to new ideas that are presented in a way that
they can understand. Their openness makes them especially
good subjects for hypnosis. When children work with
adults they trust, they can become relaxed and focused
easily, and are open to ideas that will help them to deal
with the world they are facing, and any changes they must
make to handle that world more easily.
In my own practice, I have helped many children learn to
do their homework, go to school, and even improve their
grades. I also have helped them with many other problems,
like sucking their thumb, wetting the bed, sleepwalking,
nightmares, stealing, anger, friendlessness, and low self-esteem.
I have used hypnosis and counseling to help children deal
with divorce or death in the family, and other traumas.
It is important for the child client to feel comfortable
with the adult who will work with him, so I feel it is
important to find a hypnotherapist (or a counselor who
uses hypnosis as part of their practice) who likes
working with children. He or she should be a therapist
who either specializes in children, or who is used to
working with them. Also, I encourage parents or
grandparents to ask potential therapists for some
examples of how the therapist has worked with their
child's particular issue.
The first session should involve the child, parents and
the therapist. It is a time for establishing some trust,
and for the therapist and child to identify what the
problem is and what they want to do about it. Just as
with adults, it is important that the child wants to
change and is willing to work with the therapist. Both
parents and child should understand what hypnosis is and
what it can do.
When I work with children, once the initial meeting has
occurred, I have the parent relax in a room nearby. This
allows the child to feel secure and the parent to
continue to trust the therapist. If a child is adamant
that the parent stay, I work within that decision.
However, I find that the child is often more willing to
tell you how she feels about her situation when the
parent is not in the same room. I assure the child
client, just as I do the adult client, that whatever she
tells me is kept confidential.
When the child is ready to begin the hypnosis process, I
use simple methods that might include such things as
stories, visualization, pretending, heroes and media
characters, and other imaginal tools, often based upon
the child's interests as revealed in the opening session.
I have all kinds of magic boxes that hold special things
to help the child with their changes-magic stars that
glow in the dark to serve as reminders; magic wands that
can change a situation; magic candy that when eaten makes
one feel better; magic rings that when worn make one feel
more confident; a magic hat with which to think more
clearly; and magic glasses through which to see more
clearly.
When the session is over, I spend a few minutes with the
parents to give them a brief overview of the session,
without revealing anything the child has told me. Being
left "out of the loop" can often develop
distrust of the therapist by the parents. Sharing with
them, even though in generalization, keeps the parents
"on my side," as well as assures them that I am
professional in my approach to the child-very necessary,
in these days.
I use that time to make suggestions to the parent(s)
which will support the work the child is doing for
herself. Also, It is the time for encouraging some
counseling or other guidance for the parents, if the
therapist suspects that the parents (or other close
relations) are causing or exacerbating the situation, or
otherwise hampering the child's progress. This is the
truly "touchy" area of working with children, I
feel.
Working with children is a wonderful specialty. Hypnosis,
and other altered-state methods, is a wonderful tool to
strengthen a child's confidence in using their natural
gifts and talents, and to feel empowered in a world where
they often feel they are victims to adults and their
larger circumstances. The hypnotherapist merely serves as
a guide, leading the child into those already present
gifts and talents.
Reprinted in:
The Hypnotherapist's Guide to a Creative Practice: A
Collection of Scripts, Processes and Case Histories,
Vol. I, 1999, edited by Katherine Zimmerman; with
permission of author.
Del Hunter Morrill, (Copyright June 1999)
TRANSITIONS, Inc(253) 383-5757; (888) 663-5757 (toll-free)
www.hypnocenter.com; delmorrill@hypnocenter.com
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