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John Robbins,
the heir to the Baskin-Robbins ice cream fortune, stated on the Coast to
Coast radio show that one of the surprises of his research into cultures
known for their longevity, was the importance of love and healthy
relationships. Loneliness and negative interactions can depress the
functioning of the body's systems and lead to poor health, Robbins reported.
"I believe that ultimately it is the love in our lives that underlies and
makes possible our greatest healing and longevity."
I have also heard that the number one killer in our society is not cancer or
heart disease – it is loneliness. This is not a surprise to me, as
loneliness is often the underlying feeling that so many people attempt to
avoid with their various addictions.
People in cultures known for their longevity do not live alone. Before
modern civilization, people did not live alone. Our civilized way of life
has led to the loneliness that is endemic in our society.
We are not meant to live alone. We are meant to live in caring communities
with people to turn to for love and connection, and for help when we need
it. Love, connection and support are vital for our health and wellbeing.
Without caring family, community, or friends to turn to, we lack the
connection with others that we all need. However, in order to feel connected
with others, we first need to be connected with ourselves.
We all need the feeling of inner connection that comes from being tuned in
to ourselves and to our personal source of spiritual guidance. We need the
feeling of inner connection that comes from taking loving care of ourselves
– physically, emotionally and spiritually. But the goal of inner connection
is not being alone. When we connect with ourselves and with our spiritual
guidance, we fill ourselves with love – and we then want to share that love
with others.
No matter how inwardly connected we are, we are not islands unto ourselves.
We need others with whom to share our love and our joy. We need others to
play with and learn with. And we need others to turn to in times of sadness
and grief. Without this, we feel lonely.
Loneliness is one of the hardest feelings to feel. The feeling itself can be
experienced as life threatening since we could have died as babies if we
were left alone for too long. We can feel lonely in many different
situations: when we are alone and have no one with whom to share love, when
we are with people who are not open to connecting with us, and when we are
with people and we are not open to connecting with them.
The feeling of loneliness may be so painful that you turn to various
addictions to avoid the feeling. Many people do not even know that they are
feeling lonely because they respond addictively so quickly. They the grab
the food, the drink, the drug, the cigarette, turn on the TV, get busy, or
get angry before they are aware of having a feeling, and then wonder why
they cannot stop their addictions. Often people become addicted to a
dysfunctional relationship and cannot leave for fear of the loneliness and
disconnection. When people are not connected with themselves and their
spiritual guidance, they may have a connection addiction, constantly pulling
on others for the connection they so desperately need.
Continual loneliness and the inner aloneness from inner disconnection,
create much stress in the body, which leads to illness. In addition to
proper nutrition and exercise, one reason certain cultures live long and
healthy lives is that they have love and connection with others always
available to them.
Do not discount the power and importance of inner and relationship
connection. If you want optimal health, you need to take the action in your
own behalf to seek out loving and caring people and to do the inner work
necessary to become a loving and caring person with yourself and with
others. |
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